Having had the great fortune of a loving family, two wonderful children and a grandchild that i adore plus friends in my life from long ago and now, i find myself in a quandary.
A long time friendship is changing. I'm sure friendships are constantly changing due to circumstances in one's life and maybe that's what's happening to mine. Whatever it is, it has been painful.
My friend from an early age and i, have kept a periodic in touch relationship. Life happens and due to marriage, divorce, kids, jobs, and moving, the time in communication has been sporadic until the last few years.
The two of us are in constant email mode. Both of us like to write and love communicating via email. She keeps me updated on her always active and social life, her travels, her friends--all her happenings on an almost daily, sometimes more basis. I do the same.
The time has come to cut back i think. Can't really explain it but the feelings are as if i am paralyzed and unable to deal any more with the circumstances of her life. It hurts. I have no control (nor do i want any) over her life. She doesn't need my approval or my comments. I do however have feeling and even when i express them they seem to hit dead air.
Life goes on and friends come and go but some friends are more important then others. It makes me sad to see a friendship i care about so much, slowly die. We are both responsible.
I must say though, our several year email marathon would make an intriguing book.
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